11 Sep Flexible Thinking in Children: 4 Practical Strategies for Parents
At Kids Plan-It, we support many children who find flexible thinking difficult. For these children, even small changes to their routine can feel overwhelming. A different route to school, a cancelled playdate, or someone sitting in “their” chair can quickly lead to frustration, anxiety or a meltdown.
Flexible thinking is the ability to adjust our thoughts, emotions and actions when things don’t go as planned. It helps us solve problems, cope with unexpected situations and move from one idea or activity to another. Like many executive functioning skills, flexible thinking develops gradually throughout childhood.
For many neurodiverse children, including those with autism and ADHD, flexible thinking can be much harder. This isn’t because they are being stubborn, oppositional or trying to make life difficult. Their brains often rely on predictability to feel safe and organised. When plans suddenly change, it can increase feelings of uncertainty and make it difficult to think clearly or come up with another solution.
The good news is that flexible thinking is a skill that can be developed with support, practice and patience.
Here are four strategies you can try at home.
1. Practice Having a “Plan B”
Instead of trying to avoid all changes, help your child learn that sometimes life requires a different plan.
You might say:
“Our plan was to go to the park, but it’s raining. Let’s think of a Plan B together.”
The goal isn’t finding the perfect alternative, it’s helping your child learn that there is often more than one way for things to work out.
2. Praise Flexible Moments
Children are often corrected when they struggle with change, but it’s just as important to notice when they cope well.
For example:
“I noticed you were disappointed that dinner changed, but you still gave the new meal a try. That was really flexible thinking.”
Celebrating these moments builds confidence and encourages your child to use these skills again.
3. Introduce Small Changes
Flexible thinking grows through practice. Introduce small, manageable changes into everyday routines, such as using a different cup, walking a different way to school or changing the order of bedtime activities.
Small successes help build your child’s confidence before tackling bigger changes.
4. Validate Feelings First
When your child becomes upset by change, acknowledge how they are feeling before jumping into problem solving.
Try saying:
“I can see this change feels really hard. It’s okay to feel disappointed.”
When children feel understood, they are much more likely to be able to think about possible solutions and move towards a Plan B.
At Kids Plan-It, we know that flexible thinking doesn’t develop overnight. With the right support, children can learn that unexpected changes are part of life, that big feelings are okay, and that they have the skills to adapt. Every small step towards flexibility is a step towards greater confidence, resilience and independence.
Need Support?
If your child finds it difficult to cope with changes in routine, becomes overwhelmed when plans don’t go as expected, or struggles to move from a “Plan A” to a “Plan B”, you’re not alone.
At Kids Plan-It, our paediatric Occupational Therapists work alongside children and families to build flexible thinking, emotional regulation and problem-solving skills through fun, practical and evidence-based therapy. We work closely with parents, teachers and schools to help children develop the confidence to manage everyday challenges both at home and in the classroom.
If you’d like to learn more about how we can support your child, we’d love to hear from you.
Book an initial assessment by contacting us friendly team today.