25 Aug Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn in Children: A Paediatric OT’s Guide
As a paediatric occupational therapist, I often work with children who display behaviours that adults find challenging, but what many don’t realise is that these behaviours are often stress responses, not deliberate misbehaviour. When a child feels overwhelmed, unsafe, or dysregulated, their brain may activate one of four survival responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn.
Let’s break them down.
1. Fight
The “fight” response might look like tantrums, yelling, hitting, or throwing things. It’s not about being “naughty”, it’s a child’s nervous system trying to protect them. Their brain is essentially saying, “I don’t feel safe. I need to defend myself.” These children need support to express big feelings safely and to build self-regulation skills.
2. Flight
Flight is all about escape. A child might run out of the classroom, hide under furniture, or try to avoid certain tasks or people. This is often misunderstood as avoidance or defiance, but in reality, the child’s nervous system is trying to get them away from what feels like a threat. These children benefit from predictable routines and calming, safe environments.
3. Freeze
In the freeze response, a child may completely shut down. They might go silent, stare blankly, or become very still. Sometimes they can’t follow instructions or respond at all. This is often mistaken for disinterest or lack of ability, but it’s a protective response — the brain’s way of saying, “If I don’t move, maybe nothing bad will happen.”
4. Fawn
Fawning is a less well-known response, but just as important. This can look like a child who’s overly eager to please, overly compliant, or always trying to avoid conflict by agreeing with others. These children may suppress their own needs in order to stay “safe.” Over time, this can impact their sense of self and emotional development.
As adults, we need to recognise that these behaviours are often not choices,they’re automatic, protective reactions. Our role is to create safety, understanding, and support, so children’s nervous systems can settle, and they can learn healthier ways to cope.
If you’re noticing these responses in your child or a child you work with, you’re not alone, and support is out there. OTs can help children build emotional awareness, regulate their bodies, and thrive